12/25/2023
Hi everyone,
Well, it was Christmas Eve Day when I began writing this (yesterday). It turned out to be a short novel. LOL. I guess my yearning to write and connect was very strong. Of course, you don't have to read it, but apparently I had to write it, so I leave it up to you. I hope you enjoy!
Happy Holidays everyone!!!
I was yearning to connect, and to let you know I am holding you in my arms, giving you a great BIG hug, (can you feel it?) and wishing you, your family and friends, the BEST holiday season ever, filled with LOVE! Let them know how much you love them and give them a big hug too!
Of course, any day is a good day to remember that LOVE is important in life, especially in our world today. May this holiday time be full of love, and joy, and friendship, and kindness, and compassion, and laughter, and light, and creativity, and living the life you want, and… and… and! May you love each other so much so that it just oozes out of you. Love is really the gift that keeps on giving! May you enjoy yourselves in whatever ways that bring you joy.
And for those of you who may not feel so chipper this holiday season, I am holding you in my arms too, letting you know you are not alone. I have also felt those feelings, as I'm sure so many other people have as well. (For me, it felt as if I had some sort of low-grade depression that nobody could see but me). It was so easy to cover it up with my personality.
I was determined to do whatever it took, and so many years later, after studying with a variety of teachers, coaches, and mentors, taking myself on outdoor survival experiences, facing my fears, jumping off bridges on a bungee cord, repelling and climbing 2500' mountains, walking on coals, laying on glass, eating fire, and experiencing other extreme measures, I found ways of rewiring my brain to sustain a sense of well-being and joy... all starting at age 57! (What? Really?) Yes and YAY!!!
I have to say, when I focus on bringing love and joy into my experiences, my sense of well-being grows. (Thank God).
I wish I could let you know, each and every day, how much I love you, so that you can feel it in every cell of your being, so that your “heart-tank” (as my friend, Diana/Merlin always says) feels so full that it overflows with so much love, you can flick it off your fingers. (I experienced that in Peru. Another story for another time).
Somehow, in this life, you have found your way to me, and me to you, and I am so grateful for that. I thank you for being interested in studying the human/spiritual relationship with me. You know it’s my favorite topic to study. I hope I can always inspire you with whatever messages come through me, to live that yummy-delicious life we all long to live.
LOVE: THE MOST POWERFUL ENERGETIC FORCE
In my experience, when we see through the lens of love, a nonjudgmental tenderness softens our perspectives, reminding us that LOVE truly is the most important quality/value to bring to life. For with love, comes kindness, compassion, care, respect, honor, dignity, regard, and all the other qualities that come with love.
Did you know that LOVE is the most powerful energetic force in the universe? It’s true. Love’s energetic nature/essence creates life. What is more powerful than that? It's a force of nature that drives creativity.
This is what Einstein has to say about love:
“There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.
When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe, they forgot the most powerful unseen force.
Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it.
Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others.
Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness.
Love unfolds and reveals.
For love, we live and die.
Love is God and God is Love.
This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love, because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.
To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation. If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits."
Well, if Einstein can say that much about love, it must be true. LOL!
Don't just take it from me, here are a few more quotes about love from other wonderful human beings:
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou
“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.” — Vincent Van Gogh
And the most powerful quote “…Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Jesus Christ
True unconditioned love comes straight from the heart and soul. When we get in touch with our own unique “soul design” (our life purpose), it waits patiently, ready at all times to be touched, held, and expressed.
LOVE FEEDS OUR SENSE OF WELL-BEING
Love feeds our sense of well-being, and that, you have to admit, is one of the most yummy-delicious feelings in the whole wide world! (At least it is to me).
When I feel a sense of well-being, I feel good all over, don’t you? For me, it’s a calming balm, a feeling that everything is okay, and that everything will be okay, (because it already is, now).
Having a sense of well-being is a way from which to see life and stay in the “eye of the storm”, not letting the surrounding tornado spin our sense of well-being away. It's about not giving anyone or anything the “remote control”… over the way WE feel, (only to blame them for our lack of well-being) That’s just crazy making!
LEARNING FROM OUR LAST BREATH
The way I see it, if we stop to think about how we want to feel at our very last breath, then it’s a pretty good idea to let ourselves feel that NOW, because IF our next breath is our LAST breath, then we get to go out feeling blessed. (Does this make sense?)
However, if we WAIT to feel that calming, grounding, yummy-delicious sense of love and well-being, and THIS was our last breath, then it would be too late. We would go feeling disconnected, abandoned, maybe even regretful, resentful, or envious of someone or something, instead of making peace with our lives, bringing love into the equation, so I say, "Why wait?"
I know for myself, whenever I withhold my love (because of being defensive or feeling like a victim), I feel sh*tty! I’m the one withholding love, and that just doesn't make sense.
I’ve learned that when we hold a grudge or judge (condemn) someone else, it makes it even worse. We “think” we’re hurting the other person, by being distant, when, in reality, WE are the ones who end up hurting the most. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements”, says holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. (What a concept! Isn’t that crazy when we do that?)
PERU AND THE LAST BREATH LIFE TEST
I believe I’m onto something, about being aware of our last breath. I call it, “The Last Breath Life Test”. (I just made that up. LOL. I love playing with words, as you know!)
Here’s a short story that happened to me that addresses this “last breath life test” notion.
In 1986, I traveled to Peru as an apprentice on a journey of initiation with Alberto Villoldo from The Four Winds Society to study the art of shamanism.
We were among the very, very fortunate ones who were able to study the Indian Medicine Wheel, visit the power centers in Peru, and reenact the ancient all night Ayahuasca and San Pedro ceremonies when the tourists went home. Alberto had been working with the Peruvian Department of Anthropology, since he was an Anthropology Professor at San Francisco State University, and because of this, we had governmental permission to stay all night. It sure isn’t like that today! How lucky were we!
The whole experience came about when Don Eduardo Calderon, a revered shaman, had a dream to bring the art of shamanism to the Western world, so it wouldn’t be lost. For every dose of Ayahuasca we took, he took. He was one hell of a grounding force holding the space for all of us Westerners.
Each ritual included a fire ceremony, a power mesa with power objects, fire-keepers to keep the friendly fires aflame, so we could jump across the fire, and also apprentices who tended the sacred brews.
One night, while doing an all-night ceremony in Machu Picchu, studying the direction of the West (represented by the rainbow jaguar), I found myself lying on Spirit Flight rock around 3am. In an ominous voice, the shaman asked me, “Are you ready to die?” I thought to myself, “Oh my God, am I going to die in Peru?” I had no idea what he meant.
He was really asking, “Are you living your life in full totality with integrity, so that if THIS was your last breath, you would be ready to go?”
BACK TO A SENSE OF WELL-BEING AND YOUR LAST BREATH
When you have a sense of well-being, you feel good, right? Sustaining that good-feeling-feeling is a good thing, right? I wonder why so many of us, at one time or another, fight so hard to sustain a sense of discontentment, dissatisfaction, unworthiness, misery, or unhappiness. (What’s the opposite of joy?)
Now, take a moment and imagine yourself lying in bed about to experience your last breath. What do you feel? I find it extremely powerful when I think of what I want to feel in my last breath.
In my coaching experience, it has been immediately transformational when I coach couples who are fighting and bickering, and not being loving to each other, (letting pride and the ego run the show, instead of the heart).
I tell them to imagine their loved one (or even themselves) lying in bed about to exhale their very last breath. Then I ask them, “Is this the way you want to go out, fighting and bickering and not loving?” Somehow this notion of the "last breath life test" wakes them up from their stupor quickly, and they instantly say “NO,” and change their tune and behavior. (Of course, from there it takes awareness and practice, but it definitely wakes them up!)
LEARNING ABOUT LIFE FROM THE LENS OF DEATH AND DYING
There is so much to learn about life through the lens of death and dying. It has a lot to teach us about the quality of life.
Over the years, it has been such a privilege to hold space for those who are dying and to teach others how to do so. Consciously bringing honor, dignity and regard to the table has made it a sacred journey for all involved. Adding some humor in there is good too.
When my friend, Susan Fine, died in 2009, I was privileged to be with her at her last breath, creating the most beautiful ambiance for her and her family. I felt like a birthing specialist, but instead of waiting patiently for a baby's spirit to be born, I was holding the space for her spirit to leave. And even though she was unconscious, I cleaned her up and dressed her into something I knew she would love. We gave her the dignity she deserved, and you could feel that the moment you entered the room. Even the doctor on call was stunned by its sacredness.
Right after that, I was hungry to know more about end-of-life, and I discovered it was a growing field. I immediately enrolled in courses, studied whatever I could, and became a certified Death Doula/Midwife, and a National End of Life Trainer for The Twilight Brigade.
Teaching the 3-day emersion taught people how to be with veterans who were dying, but in reality, each student faced their own fears about death and dying, and we dove right in! It was a stunning, life-changing experience. I’m not kidding! People walked in one way, and 3 days later, emerged with a totally different mind-set. They were altered forever!
HOLDING SPACE FOR EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES
I love holding a space for people to have extraordinary experiences. Diving into death and dying teaches us about life and living, exploring the quality of life we want to live in the present.
Leonardo DaVinci said, “While I thought I was learning how to live, I’ve been learning how to die.”
It’s the same coin but different sides. We can ask ourselves, “Are we living with honor, dignity, and love now? How are we approaching our days? How are we embracing others? With love? With kindness? With respect?”
Don’t you agree we all want to feel a yummy-delicious sense of well-being, before we leave our physical bodies, to “go” on that eternal journey of wherever-the-heck-we go? Some call it the quantum field of consciousness, that infinite land of possibilities, where everything is possible. Some call it a mystery.
DIVING INTO THE MYSTERY
Don’t you just love a good mystery? Why else would we read mysteries or write them or watch them? We are intrigued by the unknown. Let’s face it, mysteries are fun and adventurous and full of, well, guess what? Mystery! LOL.
And yet, we often avoid stepping into the mystery like the plague. We hesitate to go into those places we don’t know, and just carry all that we are familiar with from our past, which, ultimately, leads us into experiencing the same thing we were/are/will be, over and over again, feeling disappointed, disgruntled, and thinking we can't do anything about it.
(Well, this has turned out to be a novel. If you’re still reading this, thank you. You are as crazy as I am studying this human/spiritual stuff.)
Anyway, here are some personal updates if you are interested:
MY GRANDCHILDREN
My 18-year-old twin grandchildren, Jake and Jordyn, are graduating from high school next year and will be going off to college. I can hardly believe it. They are such fine human beings.
My almost 14-year-old granddaughter, Zoe, is entering high school next year. This is also unbelievable. Another (spirited) and fine human being.
SARAH AND MIKE
Another amazingly beautiful experience was seeing my daughter and son-in-law celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary just a few days ago. They’ve known each other since they were 14. It’s such a blessing to witness. They are both incredible humans, parents and partners.
20 YEARS FREE OF CANCER
20 years also marks my freedom from breast cancer. Putting on Sarah and Mike’s wedding during radiation helped me to heal, since the wedding was all about love and healing. What a blessing there too.
TONI BUA’S BIRTHDAY DECEMBER 27TH
On December 27th, Toni will be 77 years old. What a life and legacy she and Gene left all of us. God bless them both.
MY PERSONAL HEALTH UPDATE
As you know, it’s been somewhat of a roller coaster with my heart deciding to race, and my blood pressure deciding to elevate. And my memory hasn't exactly been stellar either, which, for whatever reason, is somehow getting better. (Go figure!)
I’ve been meditating, walking, and using my BEMER (my super-duper electro-magnetic pulse machine) that has helped increase my blood flow, reducing my daily aches and pains.
I also took up Pickle Ball this year. It’s fun to see myself running around, doing my best to keep track of the score (what a strange way of scoring). It’s a fun activity. I want to do more dancing this coming year and maybe even take some painting or sketching classes, along with writing and solo performance classes, and a lot more!
TIK TOK/SOCIAL MEDIA VIDEOS
I wasn’t as active on social media this year, and anticipate “coming out” again soon. I’m still learning how to engage with everyone and I appreciate all of you who have supported me and commented on my posts. I'm learning that commenting is very important. These algorithms change all the time and are a definite challenge to keep up with, so thank you again!
MY CLIENTS
I want to thank all of my clients for trusting me with their lives (and deaths). You know who you are. I never take this lightly, and am grateful that I can hold the space for you, and help you navigate this human journey, adding more joy, meaning and fulfillment to your lives. God bless you all.
NEW COURSES
You know me, I never stop learning. I’ve been taking Marisa Murgatroyd’s course, “Experience Product Masterclass”, learning how to bring “gamification” principals into coaching courses. It’s intense and wonderful. She is a well-oiled, organized professional!
NEW PARTNERSHIP
My friend, Susan Rosenthal, and I have embarked on a new endeavor. We are collaborating as partners to expand our coaching businesses together, combining her 30+ years of business management, consulting, and coaching experience with my 30+ years of life (and death/dying) coaching experience. We are both very excited about this!
Our mission is to support and nurture those facing midlife transitions, decisions, and reinventions, who seek personal growth and transformation. I guess you could call us conscious "Block-Busters” (like Ghost Busters, get it? LOL!), breaking through blocks that get in the way of living life with more meaning, joy, well-being, and overall fulfillment.
New programs are being innovated as we speak, so keep a look-out! We'll keep you posted.
Anyway, more than likely, we will connect in the New Year. May you enjoy your time with your families and friends and eat and be merry. God bless you all!
With much gratitude,
Shelley
It’s your life. Enjoy the journey. And remember to bring love into everything you do, and lots and lots of humor!
