everyone tells a woman to leave an abusive relationship. no one tells her that if she does she'll be on her own;
no one tells her that abusers often fight for and gain custody of children;
no one tells her that the abuse she is fleeing is considered irrelevant in deciding custody in almost every province and territory in canada;
no one tells her that "justice" costs hundreds of thousands of dollars;
and
no one tells her to prepare to lose her children completely. family courts refuse to acknowledge dv, instead calling such cases, "high conflict", inferring that both parents are to blame for the "conflict". the more determined a mama is to protect her children the greater the risk that she will lose custody completely. we need a completely new process for assisting separating families. one that recognizes children as vulnerable autonomous beings, not possessions. the current court $y$tem talks a lot about the "best interests of the child" but treat children like a patriarchal possession. so many families separate. we deserve a process that is trauma and dv informed; that centers child development and attachment science in custody decisions. love and unity
