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Monday 10am - 1pm 2pm - 7pm Tuesday 10am - 12pm 5pm - 9pm Friday 10am - 1pm 2pm - 6pm

Gosia Counselling, Peterborough (2026)

I help women who grew up with a distant mother stop doubting themselves and keep everyone happy - so they can trust themselves and feel more secure in their relationships.

28/05/2026

Sometimes I don’t need to say a word.
These are women who came to me carrying something they’d been carrying for years.

Something they didn’t always have words for yet.
And then — slowly, quietly — things began to shift.

“I cannot believe how different my life is a year later.” “For the first time, I was able to acknowledge and process what I’d been carrying.” “She’s helped me be more me.”

That last one stays with me every time.

Not fixed. Not changed into someone else. Just — more herself.

That is what this work can be.
If you’re wondering whether it might be for you, the link is in my bio.

© Gosia Miernik, 2026

18/05/2026

Do you notice how capable you are, and how little of that capability you ever turn towards yourself?

I work with women from all over the world.
Different countries
Different religions

Women shaped by post-socialist cultures who built their lives in the West.
Women who were taught endurance before everything else.
Western women, too — different systems
Arriving at the same place... exhaustion.

Highly educated.
Emotionally intelligent.
Holding it all together.
And quietly disappearing.

Nervous system remains in chronic adaptation.

I know this world. I grew up in it.
My mother used to say: why do you always have to say…?
She meant the questions.
She meant the part of me that wouldn't quite go along with things.
Next: why can you not be quiet?
No, I can not :)
honestly — that part is one of my favourite things about myself.

Because here's what I've learned, personally and professionally:
Healing is not about becoming perfect.
Or soft.
Or easy to digest.

It is not about making sure everyone approves of you.
Not everyone needs to like you… you're not a strawberry or a doughnut.
Making yourself smaller so everyone feels comfortable around you.

Healing is about truth.
And responsibility.
It is about learning to stay with your own emotions
without abandoning yourself
not spilling everything onto others
or swallowing them whole.
It is about building the capacity to be misunderstood —
and staying connected to yourself anyway.
with the parts that are pleasant and the parts that are not

Healing is about knowing which parts of you are worth keeping —
even the ones that were never exactly welcome.
Especially those ones.

If you have spent your life smoothing yourself down so others could be at ease —
if you are the one who holds it all together and never asks for the same back —
this work is for you.

Not to fix you.
To help you find your way back to yourself.

So that you:
don't underrepresent yourself,
advocate for your own needs,
can leave — when leaving is the truth,
can stay — when staying is the choice,
and move towards your own life.

Gosia Miernik, 2026

08/05/2026

Pause for the moment
Let me know if you can relate to this.

A kind of tiredness that has nothing to do with how much you have done.
Saying "yes" when you mean "no".
Managing everyone's feelings
carefully
constantly
and forgetting
somewhere along the way,
that you had your own.

This is not a character flaw.
It was never a flaw.

When abandonment is painful early in life
When a parent is there but not quite reachable,
A child cannot afford to fall apart.
She adapts…
She learns that being good…
being needed, useful…
being easy keeps people close.

That being too much might cost her the love she cannot survive without.
This is biology.
This is the child doing what children do.

The wound of abandonment does not always look like a dramatic loss.
Sometimes it looks like a little girl who learned to disappear
just enough
to stay loved.

Who quietly gave up pieces of herself so that others would not go.
She carried that into adulthood.
Into her friendships,
Her relationships,
Every room where belonging felt uncertain.

People-pleasing was/ is the strategy.
Self-abandonment was/is the cost.

Do you recognise yourself in her?

If something in this stopped you here
A reflection guide link is in my bio.

She Learned to Be Good
was written for women ready to return to themselves.

Gosia Miernik 2025 ©

Address

Peterborough

Opening Hours

Monday	10am - 1pm
	2pm - 7pm
Tuesday	10am - 12pm
	5pm - 9pm
Friday	10am - 1pm
	2pm - 6pm

Telephone

+447849361315

Website

http://www.gosiacounselling.com/, https://rebrand.ly/GUIDE/SheLearnedToBeGood

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Gosia Counselling