Unofficial: IISc UG Administration

Unofficial: IISc UG Administration Disclaimer: This is a parody account and is not affiliated to IISc or IISc UG. Do you think you are inefficient and unorganized? Lmao check us out.

28/03/2019

This is to inform the students that attendance will now be recorded on movie nights and people who missed classes in the morning due to sudden health problems but somehow are miraculously fine at night will be subjected to thorough examinations.

24/03/2019

To all those planning to bunk classes and go home to vote, let us remind you that many of you came up with the most creative set of excuses when asked to vote for the Students' Council elections.

16/03/2019

This is a public service announcement. We want to say that we are extremely proud of the batch of 2016 for not planning a farewell for their seniors. Those kids are ungrateful and a whole lot of trouble, and we are extremely happy with this passive aggressive response from their immediate juniors. The batch will be rewarded with better PhD placements than their predecessors, because that is in our hands, just like we told the batch of 2015 that they would have 10 people going to Germany under the aegis of DAAD and delivered on that promise.

13/03/2019

You ungrateful kids should stop cribbing and start being grateful for all these power outages because your life is going to be filled with darkness anyway.

Besides, how far along are you on those innovations, huh? NOWHERE! AND YOU EXPECT US TO GIVE YOU UNINTERRUPTED POWER IN THE 21ST CENTURY? What do you think you are, human beings? And look at us, suffering with you, for your sake.

Someone took a photo of us without our permission but we're touched so we'll let it be.
03/03/2019

Someone took a photo of us without our permission but we're touched so we'll let it be.

22/02/2019

Hope you all did well in the midsems (lol). Now that they're over, some of you will feel the need to drop courses because apparently everyone in the universe telling you that you were going to bomb that course wasn't good enough. Some others with some unexplainable sense of self confidence that IISc hasn't yet managed to crush might feel that you'll pick up during the finals. We can assure you that this sense is false; there's a reason why so much effort is put into demoralising y'all. Remember, the deadline for dropping the courses is 28th Feb and the deadline for reminding everyone else to approve this is some time later the next week. Of course we won't tell you when that is so that in case you don't get the approvals you can stay in blissful​ ignorance about the impending doom. Just stop kidding yourself and do it already so that at least you​ can say you did your part and that the universe dealt you an ugly hand.

17/02/2019

You meddling kids changed the OPB wifi password and now not only can't I continue pursuing my degree from Whatsapp University, I also can't join the confessions group. Please make it convenient to drop by UG office and give us the updated password or face my wrath in the form of stricter attendance cutoffs. XOXO

13/02/2019

Students are hereby notified that any trouble that befalls them thanks to the content on yet another version of the Confessions page is none of our s**t and while we like to treat you like kids and call your parents now and then, in this case we will let the law try you as adults for the variety of crimes that you commit on that page. This ranges from being insufferable incels to cyber bullying. And of course, s*d*t**n.

12/02/2019

We hope y'all paid attention to our last PSA and started working on ways to adapt to the new circumstances instead of wasting your time on PDA in this week of love. The only love you should be exhibiting now is your love for science. 4th and 5th year students should think of this as a blessing for this allows you to work on an additional problem (or perhaps the only problem given how pathetic most of your project reports are going to be lol). Make the most of this opportunity and develop alternate power sources, or optimise your daily routine in case you use the garb of 'affinity for theory' to hide your inability to do real work.

Please note that this is not a suggestion and students citing this power outage as an impediment or cause of delay should bear in mind that your committee is not going to be merciful.Your grandparents crossed the Himalayas and swam across the Indian Ocean to go to school and you have this pathetic an excuse?

Unless of course you have a valid medical emergency. Such as a papercut.

11/02/2019

Since people are worried about the frequent power outages and no one has any idea about why it's happening, we decided to seize the day and prove it to our dear students that we too are in the loop of things that happen in IISc.

As an institute that aims to prepare our students for the future, these power cuts are a secret attempt at helping students cope with an apocalyptic future where access to power shall only be a thing for the rich and powerful (you'll be neither because apparently y'all want to do research), thanks to the fact that we will run out of fossil fuels and not have sufficient renewables to replace them. Expect things to go back to the middle ages, and gear up accordingly. Of course you'll know that Indian scientists knew this well before everyone else if you followed what has happened at the Science Congress for the past few years. Be ready to leave all your fancy equipment in your labs and embrace low cost, electricity free technologies; this too was foreseen and thus research funds have not been increased so that people get the hang of it. This will of course, also solve unemployment because the rich will employ the poor to run human driven machines and maybe even generators.

While you're at it, you might also consider hunting gathering, and surviving on fruits and nuts. Of course, you might already be doing this anyway given the quality of food in the messes.

03/04/2018

IISc tops the NIRF rankings again! We hope our students make use of this to hide the fact that the institute has actually slipped in rankings in many global surveys, and that QS ranks it behind IITB. We also hope that they deal with IITB students who point this out, swiftly and quietly, so that we can carry on being as complacent as ever.

07/02/2018

Greetings to the kids from your beloved UG Office. Since Valentine's week is at hand, here's a brief schedule of how we aim to celebrate the week. Please note that our methods are a unique amalgamation (lol my spoken english classes are paying off) of western ideas and shuddh desi culture, and be thankful that we are so liberal.

7th Feb: Rose Day
Since giving roses is against Indian culture, we have decided to give students bottles of Patanjali Gulab Jal. For best results, pour gulab jal on your loved ones when they least expect it; there can be no message that conveys love better (ref to 'Love and Gulab Jal', Eshweth, PSOCK et al., Indian Journal of Shuddh Desi Romance, Vol 69)

8th Feb: Propose Day
On this day, students will have to submit research proposals about infeasible things, and the most unrealistic proposal shall be awarded the Ongshu Memorial Award for Pretentious Research.

9th Feb: Chocolate Day
For this occasion, students have to buy the staff at UG Office a box of chocolates; anything you give us is fine since we are not picky and you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, as long as they're Ferrero Rochers.

10th Feb: Teddy Day
For this day, we have a special event. A certain member of staff at the UG office will be adjudged Teddy of the Year(TOTY). We will not reveal the name, but this person is big, and fat, like a teddy bear, but infinitely cuter. Once the results are announced, to earn his graces, students are requested to garland the TOTY and give him gifts. This can potentially make your life a lot easier.

11th Feb: Promise Day
All students are to assemble in front of faculty hall at 6:30 in the morning and make promises they can never keep. eg: Promise that you'll attend all humanities classes and never leave the class after marking your attendance on the biometric device. Exciting prizes for those who break their promises the fastest.

12th Feb: Hug Day
Again, hugging is against Indian culture, so we have decided that Hug Day must celebrate Hugging, but now this is a word in a different language. On this occasion, all toilet flushes and bidets will be fixed to make the experience more pleasant for our dear students. Students found not making use of the flushes will be forced to use toilet paper for the rest of their lives.

13th Feb: Kiss Day
Since the Hostel Office next door might be feeling lonely by now, we have dedicated this day to them. Students who'll approach the office with any requests on this day will politely be told to kiss a certain odorous body part. We hope this also teaches you kids to respect your elders.

14th feb: Valentines Day
On this day, we will be having over distinguished speakers from the Bajrang Dal at a seminar on 'How to love another in India'. Also, as a special concession, the exit time for ladies from gents hostels will be extended by 5 minutes to 11:05pm.

We hope that you have a brilliant week ahead!

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