Slbs Engg. College , Jodhpur

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31/03/2017

Annual Function & Successive Moments Celebrity Night
09 April 2017

25/11/2016

इंजीनियरिंग छात्रों की कुछ खासियत ।।
1. हमेशा 2 अलार्म लगाते हैं
एक थोड़ा-थोड़ा उठने के लिए,
और दूसरा सचमुच में उठने के लिए।
2. Deo सिर्फ इसलिए लगाते हैं
ताकि कोई ये न पता कर पाये कि
ये बिना नहाये Class में आया है।
3. गंदे कपड़ों में भी, कम गंदे कपड़े
ढूंढ-ढूंढ कर निकालते हैं।
4. कंपनियाँ Maggie Noodles सिर्फ
इसलिए बनातीं हैं
ताकि ये लोग भूखे न मरें।
5. रिजल्ट आने पर Marks को छोड़कर
सिर्फ ये पता करते हैं किसकी कितनी
Back आई।
6. ‘Girlfriend’ ये सुविधा सिर्फ Medical पढ़ने
वालों के लिए होती है।
7. किताबों को Chapters के हिसाब से नहीं
पढ़ते।
“बस यार 12 पन्ने और बचे हैं पढ़ने को।”
8. बर्तन सिर्फ तभी धोते हैं जब खाना बनाना हो।
9. कालेज जाने का सिर्फ एक ही मकसद होता है
Attendance लगवाना।
10. ‘एक इंजीनियर कुछ नही जानता’ ये
सिर्फ इंजीनियर ही जानता है।
11. एक रात में सिलेबस खत्म करना
इंजीनियर की सबसे बड़ी ताकत है।
12. हर इंजीनियर के फोन में एक Hidden
Folder जरुर होता है।
13. सिर्फ इंजीनियरिंग छोड़कर
बाकी सभी Course इंजीनियरों
के लिए सरल होते हैं।
14. सुबह 9 बजे उठकर 9:25 पर Class में
पहुंचने की क्षमता
सिर्फ इंजीनियर में होती है।
15. एक आम इंसान खराब चीजों को ठीक
करता है
पर इंजीनियर पहले चीजों को खराब करते
है फिर ठीक।
16. पेट्रोल, सोना, दाल, सब्जी मँहगी होने
से इन्हें कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता
पर सिगरेट या दारु महंगी हो जाये तो ये
पागल हो जाते हैं।
17. किसी के Wi- Fi का Password अगर
इन्हें पता चल जाये
तो ऐसे उछलते हैं जैसे WorldCup जीत लिया
हो।
18. इंजीनियर कभी रात में सोते
नहीं और सुबह उठते नहीं।
19. अपने मम्मी पापा के लिए ये दुनिया के
Most Innocent Person होते हैं
और बाकी सारी दुनिया के लिए
‘Yo Yo Honey Singh’।
20. सिर्फ इंजीनियरिंग करते समय ही ये
पैसे वाले होते है
इंजीनियरिंग पूरी होते ही ये
बेरोजगार हो जाते हैं! .

18/04/2015

They said class 10th is very
important.
- I believed and studied...But they
lied...
They said 12th is very important.
- I believed and studied...But they
lied...
- Now they say semester exams
are important...
- I say "I'm studying..."
This time....... They believed and i lied tongue emoticon

07/12/2014

*Phone rings*
Me: Hello
Rajnikant: Hello, I’m Rajnikant
Me: I know.
Rajnikant: How come?
Me : You are calling on my phone which is switched off..

06/12/2014

Biggest ironies in INDIA
1) Most of the guys who are ignored by Girls in young life, are actually the nicest and better husband material
2) Its dangerous to talk to strangers, but its perfectly ok to marry one
3) We'd rather spend more on daughters wedding than on her education.
4) We live in a country where seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than feeling safe
5) In IAS exam, a person writes a brilliant 1500 words essay about how Dowry is a social evil. Impresses everyone and cracks the exam.One year later same person demands a dowry of 1 crore, because he is an IAS officer.
6) Indians are very shy and still are 121 Crore.
7) Indians are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with scratch proof Gorilla Glass but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes.
8) Indian Society teaches
'Not to Get R***d', rather 'Don't R**e' !
9) Reserved people get more benefit than deserve people...!
10) The worst movies earn the most
11) It is shallow to ask for dowry but prospective bridegrooms should make six or seven figured salaries , preferably settled in U.S.
12) A porn-star is accepted in society as a celebrity, but a r**e victim is not even accepted as a normal human being.

06/12/2014

Facebook - 3 Idiots Style:
Rancho is smiling.....
Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?
Rancho: Bahot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi...aaj bana diya hai...bohot maza aa raha hai.
Teacher: Zyaada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai...
Tell me, what is a Post?
Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is a Post, Sir.
Teacher: Can you please elaborate?
Rancho: Sir...jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir...
Ghumne gaye...photo daal diya! Post hai Sir.
Match dekha, score daal diya! Post hai Sir...
Sir actually hum posts se ghire hue hai sir!
Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak! Sab post hai sir!
Ek second me comment, ek second me like!
Comment-Like...
Comment-Like...
Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge?
Comment-Like... Comment-Like...? Haan Chatur, tum batao.
Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating systems using internet on Facebook is called a Post...
Teacher: Excellent!
Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi bola seedhe shabdo mein...
Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twitter ke pages pe account banao... :@
Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh...
Teacher: Get out!
Rancho: Why sir?
Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar jaiye.
Rancho goes out and comes back.
Teacher: Kya hua?
Rancho: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.
Teacher: Kya?
Rancho: A utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...
Teacher: Arre, kehna kya chaahte ho!?!?
Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhool gaya tha.
Teacher: Toh seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!
Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir, Apko pasand nahi aaya...

03/12/2014

Man with Gun goes to bank & demands money ..
Once he is given money, he turns to a customer & asks, 'Did you see me rob bank?
Man : 'Yes, I did'.
Robber shoots him in the head.
He turns to a couple & asks d man 'Did you see me rob d bank?'
man said 'No sir, but my wife did...
When Opportunity knocks, USE IT

03/12/2014

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

03/12/2014

There is nothing more beautiful than to see you happy!

23/11/2014

People don't change. They just show you who they really are.

20/11/2014

Ek 5 saal ka bachcha udaas hoker ek kone me baitha tha:
Papa : Beta Q udaas ho, mujhe apna dost hi samjho muje batao...main tumhara dost hi hu..
Beta: Kya batau yaar Ashok, aaj Horlicks nahi piya to teri item bhadak gai..😅

14/08/2014

Tiger : Yaar Ye Saale Discovery aur Animal Planet walo ne bhi Pareshan kar k rakha hai..
Monkey - Kyun? Kya hua bhai!
Tiger - Saale ratdin camere lagake baithte hai, Privacy to dete nahi, aur fir bolte hain,
"Only Few Left..Only Few Left."

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Jodhpur
Jodhpur City
322214

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