26/09/2019
Status of a Young Doctor !!!
I am a doctor. I scored 90% + marks in matric. I got admission in best undergraduate college in Lahore known as Kinnaird College for women. 2 years later i passed fsc examination with 90% plus marks. Then i prepared day and night for MCAT and passed MCAT securing 90% plus marks. A month later i got admission letter from the top most institute of Punjab, King Edward Medical University. I entered this prestigious institute on 2nd of december 2009 dreaming of becoming a doctor who can serve this nation day and night , happy for finally being able to bring my parent's dreams to reality. Throughout these years I did more than i ws capable of, i studied, i practiced, i dissected bodies with smell of formalin stinging my nose, i gave dreadly professionals where you have to study like hell just for getting pass , cleared all in 1st attempts, after 5 years of hardwork ,I graduated from K.E in march '15 . I did my housejob in Mayo hospital and LWH. After completing my house job prepared for the FCPS exam for two whole months, with my 4 mo old daughter to be taken care of , cleared exam in November in first attempt. I applied for residency in january 17 . But then there was not a single seat for me in whole Punjab. Thankyou GOP. Thankyou CIP for being the best MERIT based policy.
Throughout 6 years of my medical life, i learnt LIFE , i didnt only learn treating the patients , i learnt how you have to control your nerves when a 15 year old girl of corrossive intake dies in front of your eyes. I saw death when a patient of end stage renal disease passed away because of no facility of emergency dialysis in Mayo. I saw life in the eyes of a patient thanking his surgeon while going home after having thyroidectomy . I saw helplessness in the eyes of a father who brought his daughter in ER in unconsious state from kasur n again had to take her to LGH because there ws no MRI machine in Mayo n then there ws no ambulance available for her. Maybe she survived maybe not. I saw that my patient of CKD n CRF died at 2am while i was standing by her side praying for her life , setting the drops of her cardiac support, i had to declare her death , i had to tell her anxious daughter that her mother is no more but i cudnt find an ECG machine in the ward , went to the next ward for borrowing the machine. NO. Next ward NO. Another NO. There was only one machine in whole 8 med n surgery units. SIGH.
There are not enough medicines , no beds , no machines for the poor people coming there. Just because they cant go to London for getting a CABG done , do they deserve this ?
I worked in ER for 24 hrs on my foot the whole day, next day saw my patients had ward rounds , n going home after 36 hrs with a cup of tea in my hand , i heard a sweeper saying ' Doctoran nu tu bs apni chaa di e pae rahendi ae ' SIGH. After doing 12 hr night icu I did 6 hr long opd in the morning with 500+ plus patients in a single day n then i overheard 'Aj kal dy doctoran nu ty marez da xara ehsas nae. Ae kiho jaey maseeha ny ?'
Now I have no job , i have no respect in this society . Our media has manipulated the minds of our nation. Our govt has ruined our future. I dont know why my parents dreamed this for me ? I dont know why i struggled this hard ? I dont even know why m i writing this here ?...
