12/24/2020
Afghan girls and women have long since faced widespread discrimination and inequalities that stem from a patriarchal culture. In family life, daughters are treated completely differently compared to sons. Families often shelter their daughters until marriage, while the sons are encouraged to live fulfilling lives without any restrictions. This feeds into the idea that a woman’s life doesn’t truly start or have meaning until she is married. Common phrases like “dokhtar aste” and “mardom chi mega” are often told to daughters who wish to freely live their life just as their brothers.
Talking/ dating life is a taboo for many Afghan women as they’re often time labelled as “easy” and other derogatory words, whereas Afghan men are labeled “real men” and “cool”. In some areas of Afghanistan for women, being found mingling with the opposite gender can cost them a life-long worth of shame brought to their family or even cost them their own life. This adds an unnecessary burden on a daughter to uphold the family’s honor.
Afghan men are also victims of this patriarchal community. Toxic masculinity is engraved in the mindsets of many in our community, men are supposed to be tough and manly, and are expected to never show weakness or emotion. Phrases such as “boys don’t cry” creates an unhealthy environment where they are unable to express and regulate emotions in an effective way. This leads to many Afghan men being too scared to admit their weaknesses and get the help they need.
In the Afghan diaspora, where women have a lot more freedom and rights than women in Afghanistan do, it’s our responsibility to tackle sexism and discrimination in our own families and communities. By calling out these problematic and sexist behaviors within our own families and communities, we are actively creating a safer environment for everyone to succeed.
