Dina Thandeka

02/12/2024

The 2024/2025 financial year SAPS Crime Stats indicate that since 2022 there has been an increase in the crimes (murder, attempted murder and assault) committed against women and children. Let us all unite in the fight against GBV.

08/09/2020

How exactly are you feeling? How is your mental state of being?

07/08/2020

The last letter to the ex...

Dear ex...

I write this letter to thank you;
For the things you helped me open up to,
You triggered in me the need to love myself more.
You helped me realize that I have been putting other people’s needs above my own.

You helped me realize the amount of strength and resilience I possess;
It’s because of you that today I know that I’m capable of forgiving even those that harmed me to almost the point of destroying me.

It’s also because of you that I now know clearly what it is I want in my life, in love...in a career as well as in general.
I now compromise less on what I expect, I’ve learnt not to give more to situations/ people that give me nothing in return.

I don’t think I knew exactly what the word narcissist mean before I came across you.
I don’t think I knew exactly how much of a giver I could be until I was with you.
I didn’t know how much blessed I am when my reserves continued to flow even when they were taken advantage of by you and you know who else.

I thank you today because you helped me discover who I am and eliminate who I am not.
We may not ever stand a chance to be together again in this lifetime, hopefully in lifetimes to come as well....but I shall always be greatful for this great role you played, being an engineer of such great transformation.

Wishing you a more meaningful life ahead,
Dina.

05/08/2020

I never knew I could sing...

The days went by, people kept coming in and out as a usual culture in the ‘black townships’ when a neighbbor has passed away. People come with words of comfort, some come...mostly to enjoy scones and coffee/tea that gets served each person that comes to grieve with the family that has lost a loved one.

Still, no tear being shed by myself since I got home from Durban. The preparations for a funeral go on, then Sunday comes...the day of the funeral. I never received more support from friends and congregants (I was still a born-again Christian) at that time. I was overwhelmed by the support I received I forgot to grieve 🙈.

Lots of cars parked on the sidewalk all around my home. Songs of praise and worship being sung...I didn’t know I could hold a not until the day of the funeral. I would lead some of the songs, and the whole room (marquee) would follow. The spirits were high, positivity surrounded the whole room. It was such a nice send off for my mom, I’m sure it also had to do with the fact that she was as I mentioned in the previous chapter, that she was a people’s person.

The funeral went very well, everyone fed...and my fellow congregants were satisfied mostly by tripe and steamed bread that formed part of what was served. Off my mother went, and her spirit continued on living...and I believe she transformed and got back as my son 🌝.

And the story never really ends.

04/08/2020

I had to be strong, for myself...for everybody.

Everyone had to leave Durban, to go to my hometown. And I was going to be the only one left behind, to pack my mother’s belongings.

I was caught between not believing that this has really taken place, and a sad reality of this being true. I’d go from one polar end to the opposite...back and forth I went. All of this, still keeping my composure...off course, I’m a Leo.

A few days later, I followed the rest of the family to the township...my hometown in KwaZulu-Natal inland, 40 minutes drive from Durban. I remember that I’d tell anyone I come across that had some type of a relationship with my mother, as she was well known in the area we resided in...I’d let them in on the sad news. And they all gave me a look that showed great concern, yet I was not feeling as bad as they assumed I would/ should...(in denial).

She was popular for her warm-heartedness, both by the young and the old. Many people took advantage of her kindness as well, well that’s between them and their karma 🙈.

I honestly have gaps that I don’t recall what took place, but that’s more or less the story about my packing away my mother’s belongings.

Feeling better than yesterday,
Dina.

03/08/2020

How I felt she was going to depart?

It was Monday, a certain month in the year of 2002 when I was running the water preparing to bath. This was during the early years of university, which is where I stopped for some years before I made an attempt to continue...without success.

So, as I was running the water in the bath tub I had a unexplainable sensation that my mother, who had been ill for quite some time (tuberculoses) was going to depart from this earth. The more I tried to ignore this feeling, the louder it got...

I burst out in tears, shouting; no, she can’t...she can’t die now, not now...no...no...no! This continued on till I went to bed....feeling depressed. Tuesday again, same thing happened. Since Monday I did not go to check on my mother who was living a few blocks away from my rented flat. I resisted going as I was scared that I might hear the sensation even more when I see her. Being a person that I was (am), I wasn’t going to break down in front of my mom who is sick. I felt like I had to be strong for her, for everybody...yet I was the youngest of the 4 living children she had.

Then on Wednesday I finally got myself to go, still with a hunch that some bad new are coming. Walking up the street I saw no colour, everything was just black and white...I knew deep down that I should expect the worse.

I got to her place, the looks on my young nieces and nephews faces who were sitting on the staircases said it all...😭😭😭. She was gone, she had finally given in😭😭😭. Of the elders that were there, no one was able to look me in the face. I was the only child that was still dependent on her, for everything 😭.

Without a word, I went to her bedroom...looked at her for the very last time. Just laying there, feeling helpless. I could sense the sadness of her spirit even though it had parted from her body.

That was the beginning of extreme hardships that followed, most of which I’m still recovering from. My whole world was turned upside down, literally...

The beginning.

18/06/2020

Nothing in the world is ever worth your inner peace. Yes, we can’t control what happens around us, but we sure do have control over what happens within us.

When everything else is chaotic around, we can find comfort, courage and strength inside of ourselves. Some will say, “it’s not happening to us, it’s happening for us.”...and I agree.

Keep your inner space clear of any clutter, alter your DNA 🧬 by unlearning what’s no longer of use to your and your journey.

Love and light, always 💕💕

17/06/2020

Good morning, have a peaceful Wednesday 💕💕💕

16/06/2020

16/06/2020

Today, being a Youth Day in South Africa...I’d like to take this opportunity first and acknowledge those courageous youth that stood for what they believed in in 1976 in South Africa. You served your earthly course in this era, and we will forever honor you.

We all have something or a number of things that we wish to change, in our lives or within our communities. No use crying over a spilled milk, we can’t change what’s behind...but we definitely have the power to create what we wish for in the future. A change in perspective could serve as a foundation of what we desire to achieve. Seeing a glass as half-full could give us hope and strength to pursue our heart’s desires.

Be strong, and keep on dreaming💕

15/06/2020

The same energy you use harboring anger, is the same anger you could be using seeking healing/solution.
The same energy you use hating someone, could be used more effectively loving those that you see deserving of your love.
The same energy you use bothering about what your neighbor has going on, it could be used constructing the life that you wish for.
Instead of preying after rich guys so they can pay your bills or help you maintain your lifestyle, that same energy you could use honing your skills and using your talents creatively to increase your financial income.

In short, the energy used focusing outside of yourself could be used more positively focusing inward.

Stay positive, and be blessed 💗

05/06/2020

I remember how I used to think you had to rely on others for the things you yourself cannot financially afford. With little fulfillment in relationships, I’d still continue holding on...just for a sense of security and support.

It took a while for me to finally realize that the power to reach my dreams lies on how much faith I have in achieving accompanies off coarse by action and positioning yourself appropriately.

Not to discredit the fact that as human being we should seek outside help every now and then, but there’s nothing as liberating as not being bound in a toxic relationship by the fear of being without support.