15/07/2013
Perception
There are many times in our lives, at work, at home and just generally when relaxing in a social environment when we become aware of behaviour, language patterns etc that are completely inappropriate for the situation that we are in. This can apply to either ourselves or to others in the environment. Mostly what transpires has occurred and is gone before we are consciously aware of what has happened. We then start to apply a strategy that we believe will extricate us from what has just transpired. This often makes the situation degenerate extremely quickly as our defences usually consist of either withdrawal or attack. Mostly we recognise what is occurring yet we find we cannot stop. Much of this happens at a deep internal level and we find ourselves withdrawing from situations and those around ourselves. The results of these actions and perceptions are devastating to our work, our creativity, our relationships and our general quality of life.
So why does this happen. Why do we behave in the same way again and again, even when we recognise how inappropriate we are being?
The answers lie in our upbringing and the way in which we are taught to perceive the world.
From conception through to the age of about eight or nine, our brains are in an hypnogogic state. This means that the Alpha waves in the brain are flat lined, with no reasoning ability. We thus download information like a tape recorder. The actions, words and general behaviour of our parents, sibling, teachers and friends are recorded in every instance. When we ourselves come to a situation that is the same or similar, our subconscious retrieves the appropriate reel of tape, loads it up and that is our response to the situation. We keep refining this behaviour throughout our early lives, until by the age of around twenty five, we have internal, stored reactions to almost any event or circumstance that will present itself for the rest of our lives.
Our values, rules, beliefs, labels and almost any judgement we make of ourselves, others or situations comes from these internal, stored events.
Many people never get to recognise what is set out above, resulting in them living their lives in some form of pain, be it “chasing a buck” to prove that they are good enough, working ridiculous, imbalanced hours to fit in or maybe just avoid going home and countless other patterns.
Those who do recognise the above and make a conscious choice to be the best they can, to move beyond extraordinary, to remove the masks that they hide behind, these are the people who move into a recognition of “us” rather than “me”. These are the people who make a difference.
South Africa finds itself with multiple challenges, from the man in the street, to corporate to government. We are a nation of masks running from the pain of our past and present. We cling to the ideal of Madiba, hoping beyond hope that his legacy will magically remove all the perception conditioning that we have inside.
It is time to do the hard yards. Change yourself, change the world.
John Pinnoy
Conscious Coach – Visionary Leadership – Conscious Company
