24/10/2026
STOP SEEKING APPROVAL. START SEEKING GROWTH.
One of the most expensive mistakes you can make in life is spending your time trying to impress people while neglecting the person you are becoming.
Think about it.
You want to start a small business, but you're afraid your friends will laugh at you.
You want to learn a new skill, but you're worried people will think you're trying too hard.
You have an idea worth sharing, but you keep quiet because you're afraid of being judged.
You want to improve your life, but every decision you make depends on whether people will approve of it.
Before you realise it, you're no longer making decisions based on what will help you grow. You're making decisions based on what will make other people comfortable with you.
And that's how you can spend years living to impress people while making very little progress in your own life. Imagine two friends who want to start a business.
The first friend spends time talking about the idea but never starts. He's afraid people will laugh if the business fails. He wants everything to look perfect before he begins.
The second friend starts small. He asks questions, learns how to serve customers, makes mistakes, listens to feedback and improves his service.
At first, people may laugh at the second friend.
But while one is protecting his reputation, the other is building experience. Six months later, one has plenty of explanations about why he hasn't started. The other has learned what customers want, what doesn't work and what needs to change.
The difference isn't that one has no fear. The difference is that one allowed the fear of people's opinions to control his decisions, while the other used experience to improve.
This applies to education, personal growth and entrepreneurship.
A student who is afraid of looking foolish may never ask questions in class. As a result, they leave topics they don't understand until examination time.
Someone who wants to grow personally may avoid reading, speaking in public or learning a new skill because they don't want to appear inexperienced.
An aspiring entrepreneur may abandon a good idea simply because friends don't understand it.
In all three situations, the problem is the same: the desire to be accepted is getting in the way of development.
1. Learn to separate advice from approval.
Not everyone who disagrees with you is against you. Sometimes people see a genuine weakness in your plan.
Listen to constructive criticism, ask questions and improve your approach.
However, don't abandon a good decision simply because someone doesn't understand your vision.
Learn to ask yourself: Is this feedback helping me improve, or am I simply afraid of disappointing someone?
2. Become comfortable with being a beginner.
You cannot become good at something you've never allowed yourself to practise.
Your first business attempt may not be perfect. Your first presentation may be uncomfortable. Your first attempt at learning a digital skill may take longer than expected.
That is part of the learning process. Instead of asking, "What will people say if I fail?" ask, "What will I learn if I try?"
That question changes how you approach challenges.
3. Stop measuring your progress through other people's reactions.
Likes, compliments and praise can feel good, but they are not reliable measures of personal growth.
A post receiving few reactions doesn't automatically mean you've learned nothing.
A business taking time to attract customers doesn't automatically mean the idea is worthless.
A difficult examination doesn't mean you are incapable of learning.
Look at what you can actually measure: the skills you've developed, the mistakes you've corrected, the knowledge you've gained and the problems you've learned to solve.
4. Make decisions that your future self will thank you for.
Before spending money to impress your friends, ask whether that money could serve a more important purpose.
Before spending three hours scrolling through social media, ask whether some of that time could help you study or practise a valuable skill.
Before rejecting an opportunity because you're afraid of being judged, ask what experience you might gain by accepting it.
You don't have to make perfect decisions. You need to make thoughtful decisions and learn from their consequences.
5. Build a life around values, not applause.
Know what matters to you.
If education matters, make time to learn.
If entrepreneurship interests you, study customers, understand problems and learn how businesses operate.
If personal growth matters, work on your communication, discipline, emotional maturity and ability to take responsibility.
You don't need to announce every step you take. Sometimes the most important progress happens when nobody is watching.
And remember: growth doesn't mean ignoring everyone. It means learning to accept useful advice without allowing the fear of rejection to dictate your life.
You cannot control what everyone thinks about you. You can control how you respond to criticism, how you use your time, what skills you develop and whether you take responsibility for your decisions.
The person who constantly seeks approval asks, "Will they like what I'm doing?"
The person committed to growth asks, "Is what I'm doing helping me become more capable, responsible and useful?"
One question focuses on other people's reactions. The other focuses on your development.
Stop making your life a performance for other people. Start making decisions that improve the life you actually have to live.
You can be a student and learn to think independently. You can be an aspiring entrepreneur and start small without pretending to know everything. You can improve yourself without needing everyone to understand your journey.
You don't need everybody's approval to begin building a better future.
You need sound judgment, a willingness to learn and the courage to act on what you know is right.
-Amon Kapalu.
